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Being Short is for the Birds Intended for publication the week of Mar. 16 to Mar. 23, 1997. By Brian Zinchuk I have come to a recent revelation. Life at 5' 7" sucks. Now, for a female, having a stature of five feet, seven inches is not too bad. Not tall, but definitely not short. For a guy, it is horribly diminutive. Almost every single one of my male friends are a minimum 6 feet tall. My roommate Shaun overshadows me at six one. Kurt is 6'3, with his roommate Kevin breathing the thin air at 6'1. Jason is one of the shorter ones, at a measly 6' 0." My youth parliament buddies are the same way. Michael Z. clocks in at 6'1" and Mike N. comes in at six. Ian is 6'3' while his younger brother Nolan towers at 6'4." Mark falls in between at 6'2." A group picture of us at youth parliament two years ago had me on the left in a classical line-em-up-an-shoot-em-down photo. I looked like a dwarf. This year I made sure the lineup was different, with more of a semicircle, me in the middle. At least I didn't look like I was going to be helping out Snow White any time soon. Normally my stature and physical appearance wouldn't bother me. I have excellent posture (all that marching in Air Cadets did some good ), and what I consider a good, in-shape body. While no looker, I don't consider myself ugly. But this height thing has been mentioned way too much as of late. Last week I met someone in person that I had initially met on the Internet. One of her first comments was, "You're a lot shorter that I expected." (No, I did not lie to her about my height online.) Another girl I was interested in thought I was a nice guy, but frankly she goes for taller guys. Of all the things you can change about yourself, height is not one of them. I can gain weight. I can loose weight. I can work out and be a body builder, or reduce myself to an overweight slob. I can grow my hair out, cut it short, style, colour or shave it. I can wear glasses or contacts. I can even change my eye colour with contacts. I can grow any variety or style of beard or mustache, or choose to go clean shaven. I can get a tan or remain pasty white. I can dress well or like a bum; choosing a frame around the picture, so to speak. But no matter what I do, there is absolutely nothing on God's green earth I can do about my height. Zip. Zero. Nada. It's all my parent's fault. Dad is 5'11", and Mom is 5'6", so they're not exactly short. And I used to drink 2 litres of milk a day for the better part of a decade. I was holding out for a final growth spurt in my late teens. Never happened. At 32, I realize now that I'll have to give up hope. I have read about some new nutritional supplements which can extend your growth plates to their maximum capability such as Growth Booster Plus but have not yet tried this. Admittedly, there are some beneficial things about being less than 'average' height (5'10, I believe for Canadian males). You never have problems sitting in small cars, and can actually fit into the back seat of most without gnawing on your knees. (Heck, I can even wear a fedora in most vehicles!) You don't have to spend extra for clothing, i.e. at Mr. Big and Tall. Finding clothes that fit is not a problem. If you're a soldier, you make a smaller target. No one will ever ask you, "How's the air up there?" OK. None of these 'benefits' are any consolation. I will never been seen as imposing, intimidating or big. Nope. I'm gonna be a shorty for the rest of my life. At least I'm not 5'4"...... Try A search In Yahoo Now! Click Here To Get Taller Faster! |